TotL.net Human Virus Scanner

TotL.net Human Virus Scanner

I don't normally post these, but this one was fantastic.

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Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:

Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Politics
Stop caring!

X11
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Industrial (70%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.

Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

British (90%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

UNIX (90%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Sci-fi (70%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Discordia (70%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Brand Names (95%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Hippyism (60%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

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